That sound you hear is the sound of Yidishe piracy criminals yelling out together in disbelief at the wit of Jewish music distributor Aderet. One major Boro park thief was quoted as saying “What should we do? We can’t steal something that’s not for sale! We have been outsmarted! We are just going to have to pay for the CD’s like everyone else.”
Who is Aderet Music? They are the brilliant men behind the move that the entire music community has been talking about. Aderet will no longer “sell” you their CDs. When you exchange money for a CD which is under the Aderet music label from now on it will be considered a rental. You can read more about this new policy here, here, here, and recent minor revisions here.
Recent statistics now show that sales of Jewish CD’s have climbed a staggering 600 percent! This unprecedented move to rewrite United States copyright law has really seemed to pay off big for Aderet, which is owned by Mr. Mendy Werdyger.
According to one Pulitzer prize winning Jewish magazine publisher who would only give his name as Country Yossi “All new Cd’s from now on will be NUMBER ONE on my top ten music list” When asked why Mr. Yossi replied “Silly Cholent head, it’s due to the fact that stores are reporting that they are selling one billion gajillion copies of every single CD!”
Werdyger’s brother, Mordechai Ben David – known to his fans as “The King of Jewish Music” was quoted as saying “Before this brilliant plan I just ya know, “had money”, but now I’m filthy stinkin rich. I could afford anything I want, I always knew that Efshar Letaken should have sold ten million copies.”
Unconfirmed reports have Mr. Ben David saying that he will now drop the multiPaz million dollar lawsuit against Gal , an Israeli distributor who he has claimed has sold his likeness without permission. Mr. Ben David said, “I won’t be needing that 5 million dollars now that our rental agreement policy has saved the world of Jewish Music and contributed to this huge resurgence in sales.”
With sales now skyrocketing due to Aderet stamping out piracy everywhere, we can now expect them to solve other major halachic issues like bugs in our water, Indian shaitelach and maybe most importantly denim skirts.
Rumors have been persisting throughout the music community that Aderet has been approached by major non Jewish music labels such as Universal Music Groups, Sony BMG and Death Row Records. Representatives from Death Row Records are in talks to meet in Boro Park with Aderet owner Mr. Werdyger to possibly discuss selling the intellectual property rights to this major new weapon in fighting the war on illegal copying and music piracy.
“This bad [expletive] dude has really stumbled onto something huge” said Dr. Dre, co-founder of Death Row Records. “How no one else figured this out till now will remain one the worlds greatest mysteries” Indeed it will Dre, indeed it will.